Do you believe you’re responsible for your own happiness? I do. Completely.
You can use excuses and blame others for things that are going on at any moment of any day, only it’s you and only you, that’s responsible for whether you’re happy or you’re not. Think about it.
That’s why I say that “happiness is an inside job”. I was talking with a couple people the last few days about this topic. I can catch myself getting back into my old co-dependent ways, making myself feel wrong if someone in my life isn’t happy with something I have done.
Since I haven’t lived with a man in almost 15 years, and now for over the last 2 months I have been living with Hale, I have watched myself in some of these old patterns I lived within for 20 years in my marriage.
Interesting. I’ve talked with him about this when I realize it’s coming up for me. See, his happiness, my happiness your happiness, everyone’s happiness is each of our own responsibility.
It’s good to do things that you know people love and enjoy, only what I’m saying is to pay attention to why you may be doing it and how you’re feeling. If it’s purely from a place of joy inside of you, keep doing it. If it’s coming from where I watched myself coming from, stress to get a nice dinner on the table at a certain time each day, so Hale would be happy with me, then I’m suggesting you stop and re-evaluate yourself.
What I’m doing is shifting how I’m feeling as I do things such as making a nice dinner each day and having it on the table when Hale gets home from work. Before I moved in, I told him I would do this, since I know he’s hungry when he gets home after doing the carpentry work he does Monday-Friday. This means beginning dinner at 4 pm or so and having it ready to eat at 5 or 5:15 pm.
There are other things I watch myself doing that are coming from a co-dependency place. It’s an old pattern for me. I really thought it was gone long ago. I’m beginning to do some tapping or EFT technique my friends, Elda Dorothy and Julie Jacky teach, to release old patterns that aren’t working for you now.
I know it’s about becoming aware of where you’re at and what you’re feeling as often as you can. I say this in my blogs and out there in my life and to anyone I’m working with all of the time. Slow down, take deep breaths and tune in to what is going on with you.
As you do this, I guarantee you will truly know that your happiness is an inside job!
Check out my fall Kauai Spiritual Retreat to see if it’s a fit for you. Talk about happiness!
Leave me comments about this and how you handle various things that pop up for you!