Finding patience When Life Feels Hard
Finding patience when life feels hard is something I recently needed to find.
I just returned home from flying for the first time since COVID hit.
First, I had scheduled time to spend with my parents, family and my childhood friend, Debbie, as we did last summer.
We stayed for the first 3 nights in my parent’s guest house across the street from their summer home.
We celebrated my 65th birthday with a small family party, the day after I arrived.
My precious Dad, Homer, had been bleeding for several days in his urine after two trips to the ER.
So, due to this, he only stayed at the party,for a while, before he needed to rest.
By the next day, it was clear I needed to take my dad to the ER for the third time in less than a week.
As a result of the other urologist not taking charge and getting to the bottom of my dad’s issue, Dad switched to my mom’s urologist.
We all had trust in Dr. Z. He has been taking such good care of mom.
Patience isn’t something my dad and I have much of when things are scary and need to be taken care of. We both want solutions right now or yesterday!
Because of COVID, only the person who is with you upon admission to the hospital, is the only person allowed to be there the entire stay.
After I got Dad settled in the hospital room, I drove the hour back to their summer home. I enjoyed my walleye dinner my brother Jim made for us and spent time with Mom and Debbie.
Debbie spent the day I was gone with Mom and other family members. She noticed from the few days there, how close my family is and how we are all about teamwork.
Debbie has been my friend since we were 7 years old. She has lots of patience it seems to me. She’s a pleasure to be around!
The next day, was a quieter day for Dad at the hospital, since he was finally having the surgery on his prostate he needed, the following day.
Debbie and I had a nice morning together talking and getting packed up. She was driving back to Michigan where she lived, and I was taking Mom back to their Toledo home.
After getting Mom settled in back at home, I left for the hospital to be with Dad.
Only two family members could be in the surgical waiting room. So therefore, the next day, my sister Karen was with me.
The surgery turned out well, however, Dad needed to remain off his blood thinner for more than the two days recommended by his cardiologist.
It was a balancing act between bleeding out during surgery and afterward as he was healing, or a risk of stroke.
Dad went home two days after surgery. Only four hours after arriving home, I noticed possible stroke symptoms and called 911.
After the paramedics checked him out, they took him to a different hospital, a Level One Trauma hospital, the best for strokes.
It was heart wrenching for all of us as they took him away. I left shortly afterward and needed my niece’s husband to drive ahead of me. I was so shook up, I couldn’t remember how to get to this other hospital.
Above all, at this point, patience was necessary for me. Only how do I find it? I prayed, and my friend, Caroline, suggested meditating in the noisy ER.
I was a nurse in my past, and throughout the next several days, so much came back to me. Like riding a bike. You don’t forget.
Dad was of course admitted and consequently, they started a heparin drip in his IV to get his blood thin again. This helped prevent further stroke activity. As it turned out, Dad had a TIA, a mini stroke. Thank God there were no lasting effects.
Furthermore, my parents pastor, Pastor Ruby, was doing prayer Zoom meetings. Hence, my family and my mom could feel supported and send healing to my dad.
Finally, because of prayer and the church zoom service I got on with my dad at the hospital, my dad and I found some patience.
We needed to find patience many other times. Such as, we waited for test results of an echo-cardiogram to be read, so he could be released. It didn’t happen until 9 pm.
Dad and I joked about how both of us were not good with patience!
All in all, Dad is home now healing, and I feel honored to have been with this wonderful man for so many days.
We talked, when he felt up to it and I watched as he treated everyone he encountered, with kindness and gratitude.
My Dad, Homer, is the friendliest person I know. Even during all of this stress, he found his sense of humor.
I am back home now, with Hale. My life has changed because of everything I experienced the last two weeks.
Have I found more patience? Maybe. We shall see!
I just know my appreciation of life and for everyone is much deeper. Cherish is the word I keep thinking.
The photo above is Dad and I the day before I came home.
As he said to me, the human body is miraculous to go through what he did and now to feel as good as he did the day I left.
The photo below is the day before going to the first hospital at my birthday party with Dad, Mom and my siblings. Debbie, Mom and me, taking a golf cart ride and two others of Dad.
Are you a patient person? I really think it has to do with faith. Hmmm. Something to think about.
With appreciation, love and being patient,