By Connie Hertz
Last week I wrote about being vulnerable and I included a fantastic video of Brene Brown talking about it.
I just watched another video of Brene talking about being enough. This video is just short of 5 minutes long. Here it is if you’d like to watch it, from 2011 on PBS:
When we feel we are enough and we know we matter and we love ourselves for where we are right now, we are able to set our boundaries for what we really want and don’t want.
We won’t say “yes” to things when we really want to say “no”, and we will say “yes” to things, even if we are really scared of doing them, and ultimately, we know we will become more of who we were meant to be if we follow through and do them!
Make sense? We have choices all of the time. Brene says in the video above, she has a ring she wears that she turns around three times, before she gives someone an answer when they are asking something of her. During the three twists of the ring, she really asks herself how she feels about doing whatever they are asking of her.
This helps her to avoid resentment by saying “yes” when she really wants to say “no”. It’s all about honoring ourselves and really being honest with ourselves and others.
Would this kind of “pause” be helpful for you, before saying “yes” or “no” to someone’s requests?
When we take care of ourselves in this way, we have more respect for ourselves, and it’s an act of love for ourselves and in the end, love for others.
We will have so much more to give, and we can give it from a space of joy, and with an open heart.
It’s my responsibility to take care of me, no one is assigned that responsibility. Of course, when we need help, it’s part of loving ourselves to reach out and ask for the help we may need.
I find this is a challenge for me to ask for the help I may need. I just had an extensive oral surgery, and I’m recovering from it now at home. I was even going to drive myself to and from, because I didn’t want to put anybody out, by asking for help!
My friend LuAnn asked me the night before, who was taking and picking me up. I told her I was driving myself. She said I was not going to do that, that she would take me! She was my angel that day, and even came back when I experienced complications after settled in at home.
I’m asking myself, “Why is it so hard for me to ask for the help I need?” Sometimes I think I am invinceable and I don’t want to admit I can’t do it all for myself.
I am realizing that I deprive others the opportunity to give when I don’t step up and ask for help. I’m really not honoring myself when I don’t ask for help, am I?
Do you do this too?
Some food for thought for me and I am guessing for some of you.
The bottom line is:
I am enough, I matter, and I have lots to give. You are enough, you matter, and you have lots to give.
Here’s to paying attention to all that I have said here today, and for each of us to really honor ourselves and others!
In the photo posted here, you see me with one of my hero’s, my 100 year old friend, Lorna!
Much love and blessings to all of you,