Welcome to August and my theme of Life’s Transitions! Last Friday, my 29 year old daughter, Abby, wrote about her upcoming life transition of turning 30 years old. All of us have had and will continue to have, many life changes and transitions.
The photo here was taken in 2002, on Abby’s 18th birthday, and a senior in high school. Adam was 19 going on 20 here and in college. This is one of my favorite photos of my kids.
The key to all of our many changes and transitions, is how we view them and accept them.
Some of my life transitions have been harder and more difficult than others and some have taken longer to move through.
In December of 1981, I had one of my first major life transitions, at age 26, when I married my former husband, the father of my two children. I am the only one of all of my 4 siblings to have moved away from the Toledo, Ohio area, as I moved to Muncie, Indiana, where my then husband was born.
I left my nursing job, my friends and family, and anyone I felt was my support system, and moved with him to a very small town, more than an hour northeast of Indianapolis. There was one mall, and no freeways. I felt in many ways like a fish out of water!
I moved into not only an unfamiliar town, but into a brand new role as a wife and as I soon found out, a first time mother, later that next year. I was not used to not working, as I had supported myself since I left my parents home at 19 years old.
I quickly enrolled in a prenatal exercise class at the local YMCA, and here is where I met my new group of girlfriends. All of us having upcoming babies in common. I am still connected in some way, to all of these ladies today.
I had many fears, which I did my best to ignore, and not really face. I loved my husband so much and thought we were meant to be together forever. As I look back, I did the best I knew how to do with what I had experienced thus far in my 26 years here on earth.
By August of 1982, our beautiful son, Adam was born, and I gave my all to him and being the best new mother I knew how to be, and young wife. Adam was an easy baby, and the greatest joy of my life up to that point.
Adam just became a new daddy 7 weeks ago, and I suspect he’s going through as many new feelings, experiences and fears, as I had.
When Adam turned one year old, we decided to try for another child, and very quickly I was pregnant with our second child, Abby. Abby was born 21 months after Adam, and my family was complete.
If I could go back and change something about those years, I would have added in something that still defined me, Connie Hertz, as an individual, other than a wife and mother. I’m not sure what that would have been at that time. Perhaps, working as a nurse very part time.
My roles as wife and mother, became my everything. That is what I chose at the time.
If I knew then what I know now, I would have definitely chosen to keep something that was just an expression of me, Connie. I think my kids would have learned different lessons from me if they would have seen me as someone that had a career, something that expressed me.
I very much loved spending most of my waking moments with Adam and Abby and taking them everywhere I went. I was overprotective with them, and watched and guarded them like a mother hen.
There are so many amazing memories I have now of those days. My son, Adam will be 31 years old next week, Abby is over 29 years old now. It seems just like yesterday they were in my care, and it also seems so very long ago. Many things have changed over these years. I have changed.
I now am only responsible for me, and with that has come creating a new life for myself. I still have fears, only now I am very well aware of them, and I now have tools to address them. My life in many ways is wonderful, and there are things and a few relationships, I dream of having be healthier and better.
With all of that said, what I know to do today, is live in the best way I know how to everyday, treat people with love, respect and appreciation, and pray that the relationships that aren’t healthy, will become healthy one day soon.
Stay tuned for more “Life Transitions” from me and my August guests!
With love and appreciation,